New on Java Realms: Get Rich Quick!

Play up to 7 new maps this day with our new scheme!

So, I have decided I want to become obscenely rich.

Filthy, rotten, and all those other positive adjectives we use when we describe the wealthy. Richer than Richie. So rich that I can take helicopter rides to my indoor pool. Rich enough to launch a line of name-brand steaks that will only be sold at home electronics retailers.

This new enterprise required a plan. My first idea was to convince my editor to pay me by the word. Yes, a stirring initiative of such magnitude would surely inspire, nay, embolden me to take this craft, or rather, art of wordsmithery into lofty heights unseen and previously unreached by authors, poet laureates and Pulitzer Prize winners, not to mention other fields of penmanship, such as cereal box back designers, tombstone carvers and fortune cookie manufacturers! Heavy italics usage and run-on sentences could provide a 25% flat bonus!

They said no.

Drat. Maps:

LORD OF THE LANDS

by Yeggs

If plan A doesn’t work, go play some Realms maps. While pursuing this activity, it struck me: why don’t I try to become the titular Lord of the Lands? This endeavour seemed simple enough; I purchase properties around the city, and whenever my friends stop by these properties, they have to send me a bag of money. I’m pretty sure this is how property tax works. If I get enough properties in a row, I can hire guards to stand outside and shake them down for even more money! Given enough time, my friends’ unrelenting circular strolls in the city would have completely emptied their pockets into mine, and I would have amassed somewhat of a monopoly, if you will. Sounded terrific to me, but none of my friends seemed too thrilled to invest when I presented it to them.

CELESTIAL CHAMPIONS

by Command Realm Team

Don’t think I’m out of tricks yet. My next venture was to dip into waters tried and true, and make a Realms map myself! Imagine this: action-packed sumo-style PvP, 16 unique classes, mid-air jumps, a combo meter that fills up on hits with your secondary weapon, special powers that activate whether you’re on the ground or in the air! And better than all that, imagine all the people who would line up outside my front door to dump truckloads of hard cash upon me in appreciation! Heavenly Heavyweights – coming soon to a Realm near you!

I need to stop planning my money-making schemes in the middle of writing these posts. Celestial Champions had already beaten me to the punch, so now I’m both without refreshments and one money-making hoax down. Pity me!

SEALANDS

by Axyy, Storytone, & Lioneah

Spending all your time thinking of how to acquire the money is only half the battle. It’s equally, or maybe even more important to figure out how to spend it. Going on a vacation is one thing, but to truly squander one's ill-gotten gains, why not just buy a geographical location for yourself? Sealands seems like a perfect candidate for this with its diverse biome, starting atop a mountainous isle, with a red desert peninsula complete with a wild west village, a lighthouse/dock island and a cosy little farmer’s cabin. A perfect place to dump a bunch of property on, put some guards outside and charge your invited players a fee for walking by. Gratitude is accepted in cash, credit & cheques.

ALSO RELEASING TODAY