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    A screenshot of a medium-sized dog from the Cute Pets map by Blockception
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    Staff
    Written By
    Staff
    Published
    9/2/24

    LET’S PLAY: CUTE PETS

    Content warning: Contains critical cases of cuteness!

    Sometimes the title of a game makes it pretty obvious what you’re gonna get. Buy a game called ‘Minecraft’ and you’re probably gonna get an experience that contains ‘mining’ and ‘crafting’ (but we don’t have time to fact check if that’s true, sorry). So when we downloaded the Cute Pets by Blockception map from Minecraft Marketplace we were expecting to make a bunch of adorable animal friends.

    So would it surprise you to learn that Cute Pets is actually a surreal odyssey into the human condition, explored through the medium of ancient Chekoslavakian poetry? Well, yes, it would surprise you, because that’s not true. Obviously. No, this is actually a Minecraft adventure all about adopting cute animals. Phew!

     
    A screenshot of a medium-sized dog

    Meet Medium Dog! In a fun coincidence, our nickname in school was also Medium Dog! If you replace the word ‘Medium’ with ‘Go’ and ‘Dog’ with ‘Away’.

    Anyway, you’ll meet Medium Dog within a few seconds of starting this adventure, as you’re given a brief tutorial on how to adopt a pet, feed a pet, play with a pet, make a pet sit, make a pet stand, and put a pet to bed. 

    A screenshot of a medium-sized dog sleeping in a pet bed

    Awwww! He’s so sleepy! After just a few seconds of our company! HEY-

    Once you’ve mastered the basics of looking after a little animal chum, you’re yet loose on the streets of Pawbell. No offense to whatever rubbish place you live in but Pawbell has it all. There’s a reptile house, a cat cafe, and loads of people to talk to!

    Saying that, some of the people do make some slightly outlandish claims…

    A screenshot of an NPC from the DLC saying "My per snake Pete is always happy to play with his tambourine!"

    What a shameless lie! Have you ever considered writing for Minecraft.net?

    But you’re not reading about something called ‘Cute Pets’ because you wanna talk to humans. Ewww, absolutely not – bring on the PETS ALREADY.

    Luckily, adopting a pet is simple. You start off with one adoption certificate and can get more by collecting paw coins that have helpfully been left lying around everywhere, giving you a good incentive to explore every inch of the map (and hopefully not destroying the local economy).

    Once we’d filled our greedy pockets with as many paw coins as we could carry, it was time to choose a pet! An agonizing choice indeed…

     
    A screenshot of a hedgehog

    This spiky little fellow has absolutely no right to be this adorable. How come we spend all our free time in hedges yet don’t look anywhere near as cute?

    A screenshot of a teacup pig

    What if the Minecraft baby pig was even smaller and named after everyone’s favorite tea-carrying receptacle? The answer to that bizarre hypothetical question would be this teeny little guy. Awwww!

    A screenshot of a duck

    DUCK! DUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK! Ahem, we mean, why what a lovely looking duck. We think we’ll adopt this one please :3

    Like our old friend Arachnid-Fellow once told us “with great pet ownership comes great responsibility” (or something like that – we weren’t really listening to be honest). You can’t just dig a hole, pop the duck in it, then go to the movies. No, you have to take GOOD CARE of your pet, you monster!

    Luckily, Pawbell is a town that doesn’t lack for shops where you can buy all sorts of wonderful necessities and accessories for your pet. Even if we quickly get jealous that they’re not for us:

    A screenshot of a play area for pets

    What do you MEAN this play area is just for cats?! D:

    After our fiftieth warning to stop playing in the cat play area, we purchased some food for our pet and bought them a bed. We were feeling so confident that we’d basically mastered being a pet owner at this point that we went ahead and adopted the teacup pig too!

    But why stop there? Surely a third pet won’t be too much hassle? But which one to pick…

    A screenshot of a frog

    Frog! Seen here constantly turning away from us when we tried to take a screenshot. Hmph. Suit yourself…

    A screenshot of a goose

    Oh, this would go great with our duck! Although, based solely on the scientific text that is Untitled Goose Game, these birds are basically winged menaces.

    A screenshot of a snake

    Fun fact: we used to have a terrible phobia of snakes! Or do we currently have a terrible phobia of snakes? Hmmm… let’s adopt this one and find out!

    Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that the message ‘Teacup pig is hungry!’ was being bellowed at us while we were admiring other pets. Don’t be a neglectful pet owner just because your Minecraft.net article is late again – prioritize feeding and nurturing the pets you already own before adopting fifty snakes. Learn from our mistakes.

    Once you have met your pet’s needs, you’re free to explore Pawbell, while your animal companions adorably follow you. They’ll even keep up if you zoom around on one of the many bikes.

     
    A screenshot of an owl

    In fact, we’d recommend exploring properly before choosing the pet that’s right for you. You don’t wanna snap up the first animal you see, only to find your dream pet is waiting right around the corner! 

    For example, we thought our jaded eyes had had their fill of cuteness, and that we might as well spend the rest of our lives staring at a concrete wall. But that was before we found these:

     
    A screenshot of two cats in a pen

    !!!!!!!!!!

    Before you notice that we’ve failed to feed Teacup Pig again, why not click this link to find Cute Pets by Blockception on Minecraft Marketplace? Or go to Minecraft Marketplace on your preferred Minecraftin’ device and search ‘Cute Pets Blockception’ in the search bar. Have fun, and please do a better job of looking after your pets than we did. 

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