Can we climb Everest? Probably not!
Mount Everest! It’s famously the smallest mountain in the world. Phew, that’s good news because for this month’s Let’s Play, we’re taking on Everest Ascension by Sandblock Studios. This should be a nice and easy skip to the peak, and… wait…
OK, so we’ve looked it up and it turns out Mount Everest is actually the tallest mountain in the world. Well that’s just great.
We jump in and the first thing we notice is that this has to be the snowiest version of Minecraft we’ve ever played (even snowier than the one we played on that broken CRT television). Great clouds of the white stuff obscure our vision of our target - the peak of the world’s biggest mountain.
Fortunately, we can see a handy guide, welcoming us to our Everest quest. They kindly warn us about the dangers we’ll experience on our ascension. The list of dangers is nearly as high as ol’ Mt E itself. Apparently, we have to worry about *deep breath* oxygen, avalanches, wind, icy wind, climbing, snow walls, zombies, and taking a good selfie when we reach the peak. Sadly, we only made one of those up. Even more sadly, it wasn’t the zombies one :(
Apparently, we shouldn’t try climbing Everest IRL without ‘professional guidance’. Buddy, we’re not even sure that we should be attempting it in Minecraft without professional guidance.
Nevertheless, we’re pumped to get to the tippy-top of that mountain! With a triumphant roar of courage (followed by a more sheepish whisper of courage, when we remember that avalanches are a thing) we sprint across the starting line. Let’s go!
We’ve barely ascended and already the mountain is putting up one heck of a fight. Apparently, it doesn’t want to be climbed. Relatable. We keep a steady pace, trying not to be distracted by the NPCs you’ll constantly encounter along the way. This is trickier than it sounds, as their animated little scenarios are great fun. We certainly hope our trip up Everest goes better than it did for our friend here:
Bad luck, chum!
One of the most important priorities for any wannabe mountain climber is oxygen. Oxygen's brilliant, isn’t it? What’s that? You’re not a fan? Er, OK, well good luck with breathing and all that. Anyway, oxygen is obviously important wherever you are, but it’s particularly vital that you keep an eye on it when you’re climbing mountains. Because the air gets thinner and harder-to-breathier the higher you ascend. That’s why good mountain climbers pack oxygen bottles.
Luckily, some kind soul has left oxygen bottles all over the mountain! Don’t think about why they might have dropped them. We head off the path to help ourselves, when suddenly - ARGHHHHHH!
Z-z-zombies! Yes, apparently Sandblock Studios thought climbing the world’s highest mountain wasn’t challenging enough, so they threw in swarms of the undead. You have to take out your ice axe and get swinging to survive!
Oh, and if the zombies do manage to hit you, they often strip off your clothing. Hey! How DARE you so rudely question our fashion choices. You need to get your clothes back on as swiftly as possible because A) nudity on Everest is very impolite and B) you’ll freeze to death if you don’t!
This is all getting a bit stressful, so let’s enjoy these two NPCs enjoying a map. Awww!
We somehow escape the zombie hoard and thankfully get our clothes back on. A lot more cautiously, we continue towards the mountain and notice the ground is starting to slope upwards – we must have reached the bottom! Wait… only the bottom?! Boo!
Still, at least we’re now moving on up in a more promisingly diagonal direction. Having said that, those white plumes of angry-looking wind rushing down the mountain are a lot less promising…
This is icy wind and it loves nothing more than sending poor lil’ mountaineers tumbling to their doom. If you don’t avoid it as it rushes down the mountain, then it’ll soon be you rushing down the mountain.
Amazingly, we survived this woeful wind and saw… tents? Safety? Someone we can yell at to make us hot cocoa? Well, perhaps not that last one, but yes, we have reached the first campsite!
A lovely little campsite it is, too. We see people snoozing in their tents, shoveling up rubbish that naughty explorers have tossed on the mountain, and helpful signs saying ‘WAY TO EVEREST’ with a big arrow. Were we going the wrong way before we saw those signs? No comment.
The smart thing to do would be to get some rest, but we didn’t get to where we are today by being ‘smart’. And that’s a shame because the mountain is about to get MUCH more dangerous. Ice is now everywhere, the cliffs are getting steeper, and large fatal-looking gaps have to be crossed on thin bridges. G-gulp…
Fortunately, we didn't fall off! But less fortunately, we’re lying, and totally did fall off. ARGHHHH!
Miraculously still breathing – especially when we remember to crack open another oxygen bottle – we take in our new surroundings. Spikes of ice as far as the eye can see, is it? Oh goody…
After a few hundred hours of waiting, we accept rescue isn’t coming and start to explore. We take shelter in a nearby cave, but our path is blocked by snow. What in the Overworld are we going to do now?!!
We feel like the game is trying to tell us something… but what?
A few hundred more hours later we get a brainwave… let’s try punching the snow! But we accidentally tried this with our shovel equipped. Hey, the snow fell away anyway! What a fun coincidence!
We wander deeper inside the mountain, where we find several frozen skeletons. That’s when we decided to accept our fate and live here forever. Can YOU get further up Everest than we did? Almost certainly, and if you wanna try it for yourself, look up Everest Ascension in Minecraft Marketplace, or click this lovely line of green text.
See you next month! As long as our oxygen doesn’t run out! Hahahaha! …Oh.
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