Hanging Signs: An essential guide
Could this guide save your life?!
Do you remember what Minecraft was like before we added hanging signs? I think we can all agree that it was the worst video game in human history. But let's not dwell on the past. Hanging signs are here, and the future looks oh-so-bright!
I think the best thing about hanging signs is how easy they are to construct and put up. Simply follow the simple steps in the gallery below and you’ll be enjoying hanging signs in no time at all:
What the heck happened there? I’ll tell you what happened - we all just learned a valuable lesson on the dangers of using hanging signs before reading this guide. So before you even think of putting one up, memorize these potentially life-saving tips.
LESSON ONE: CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY
Always dreamed of writing The Great American Novel? Good idea! But if you are planning on writing a novel, I wouldn’t recommend writing it using a hanging sign. I sadly found this out when I transcribed the entirety of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities onto one, and then looked up at my screen at the results:
Yes, when it comes to writing on a hanging sign, you’re looking at about 6-10 words tops, depending on the length of the words you choose.
Frustrating, yes, but limitations can be a good thing! Word limits encourage snappier, less indulgent writing. Once I remembered this, I found it easy to summarise the plot of A Tale of Two Cities on a single hanging sign. Observe:
LESSON TWO: PROPER TEXT PLACEMENT
The text on a hanging sign is broken up into four lines. Careful consideration of what words you put on each line is the secret to pretty signs that make everyone on your server applaud and shower you in gifts. Mess it up, and everyone on your server will applaud SLOWLY and shower you with spit. And no one wants that.
Here are some don’ts to avoid:
Having trouble getting the text to look how you want it? Consider using shorter words and phrases. For example, ‘Please Don’t Disturb Me, I’m Rather Busy Today’ can easily be replaced with ‘Go Away’. Sure, you might lose a few friends, but who needs friends when you have hanging signs?
LESSON THREE: HANG YOUR SIGN WITH CARE
We’ve prettied up the text, we’ve got a nice, concise message on our sign (‘I’m a sign!’), and now we’re ready to hang our sign. But where? This may seem easy, but like everything in Minecraft, certain doom is guaranteed if you make even the slightest mistake. Observe these common screw-ups that can occur if you don’t hang your sign with utmost precision:
To summarise, place your sign somewhere easy to read, somewhere that doesn’t get in the way of things you’d like to keep sign-free (such as your face), and if you want to read the works of Charles Dickens, visit your local library instead.
Thanks for reading! You can leave now. Or to put it another way…
Hey, don’t get mad at me. The sign said it!
- Written By
- Tom Stone
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