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Artwork of a piglin mace runt

A rowdy piglin

You have left the toasty, wart-covered comfort of the Nether for one thing: gold. It's what every piglin seeks out. You fight for it. You envy whoever has it. You gotta have it. 

But the thing is, you also enjoy violence. A lot. Thankfully, most of the time your hunger for gold and your thirst for violence complement each other quite well. 

You're currently keeping busy at your outpost with some fellow piglins. The gold extractors are pumping away and the sun is getting low.

You spot a zombie smelling some flowers in the distance. It looks too happy. And you're very bored.

 

> Thwack it

> Bonk it

> On second thought, maybe I'll just mind my b-bonk, bonk, bonk!

 

Bonk it

 

You grab some Nether wart from the outpost and stuff it in your cloth – you need its spores so you can breathe.

You approach the zombie, mace ready at your side. This isn't your first instance of unwarranted violence, so you know to take a moment to formulate a plan. You're one of those rare brainy piglins.

The zombie hasn't noticed you yet – time to choose how to approach it.

 

> Sneakily attack from behind

 

> Let out a violent squeal and charge

 

Attack the zombie sneakily

 

You stalk the zombie in an uncharacteristically meticulous manner until it's in your mace's range.

You unleash a flurry of blows on the zombie. It slowly turns around, grunting with every hit. It puts up a good fight, but in the end, it succumbs to your heavy mace. If you weren't a piglin, this would've been a horrifying sight for you.

You want more. You spot a wolf nearby. As you approach, it wags its tail at you. Looks like it hasn't noticed the violent act you just committed against its friend.

 

> Bonk!

 

> Look around

Let out a violent squeal and charge

 

Your sharp squeals usually stun opponents, but the zombie doesn't shy away from the fight. It swings its heavy arms at you.

It looks like you won't have the upper hand in this fight for much longer. What do you do?

 

> Run away

 

> Squeal for help

 

 

Run away from the zombie

 

You decide to escape the zombie and start running down a hill. It's too much for your piglin hooves, and you go tumbling down to the bottom. Your snout is touching dry, sandy ground.

 

> Get up and look around

 

 

 

Look around before bonking

You take a second to examine your surroundings, and notice several more wolves around you, partially concealed by the grass. Looks like attacking this wolf would've been a huge mistake!

You step away from the wolf, which is now eyeing you suspiciously. You have to find something else to destroy. 

You spot a village nearby. There's lots of stuff to ravage in there. Maybe even some gold? You never know what you'll find in those village chests.

You also spot a patrol of piglins nearby, tormenting a group of llamas. Looks like they're having a lot of fun! The piglins, of course. The llamas are... not happy.

> Charge into the village

> Join the patrol

> Ask the patrol to pillage with you

Charge into the village

 

You run into the village – mace raised, ears flapping, snout snorting. The villagers run away in a panic as you start hitting everything in sight.

In the center of the village, there's a large fountain. It looks important.

 

> Bonk!

 

> Keep smashing houses

 

 

Keep smashing houses

 

You're having a blast smashing the horrified villagers' homes as they look on, but all of a sudden, an arrow hits you! Owink.

Looks like you were so busy unleashing chaos upon the village that you didn't notice the group of skeletons that assembled to come to its defense.

 

> Ask the piglin patrol for help

 

> Attack the skeletons

 

 

Bonk the fountain!

 

It's too beautiful not to be destroyed! You run towards the fountain and start bonking it. The villagers now look even more distressed! You snort to yourself and hit it even harder.

All of a sudden, something hits you so hard it sends you flying. You didn't see what it was but you're too afraid to go back and check.

Thankfully, you've landed near the piglin patrol that's still messing with the llamas.

 

> Ask the piglin patrol for help

 

> Join the patrol

 

 

Join the patrol

 

You follow the other piglins' lead, guiding the llamas toward an outpost. You wave your mace at them, careful not to hurt them while doing your best to dodge their spit. 

You eventually reach the outpost, where you lock the llamas in cages. You're covered in spit, but you're not one to take notice of hygiene so you literally just shake it off.

 

> Taunt the llamas

 

> Keep exploring

 

 

Ask the patrol to pillage with you

 

You run up to your fellow piglins and ask them for assistance in destroying the village, but they're having too good of a time messing with the llamas to pay attention to you.

 

> Insist that they help

 

> Join the patrol

 

 

Insist that the piglins help

 

You try to get one of the piglins' attention by aggressively tugging on its ear. It turns around and smacks you hard with its mace, sending you tumbling down a hill.

As the landscape spins round and round in front of your eyes, you start to see swirls of yellow. You finally land on ground that feels dusty and dry.

 

> Get up and look around

 

Get up and look around

 

You look up, patting your precious mace to make sure it's still at your side. In front of you stands a towering structure made from yellow rock. A vague hissing is coming from inside.

 

> Go inside the structure

 

> Explore the surroundings

 

 

Taunt the llamas

 

A piglin never misses an opportunity to mess with a defenseless victim. You start slamming your mace into the cage, making a lot of noise. 

The llamas inside are startled and annoyed, and so are the piglins, at first. Once they see what you're doing, they're amused, and a few even join in. Everyone is having a great time - except for the terrified llamas, of course.

All the commotion alerts a nearby group of skeletons, who are now attacking the outpost! Your fellow piglins pick up arms and band together to defend it.

 

> Not my outpost, not my problem!

 

> Those skeletons messed with the wrong piglins!

 

 

Defend the outpost

 

Arrows are raining down on the outpost. There's a small group of skeletons nearby, concentrating their fire on the barracks in an attempt to stop the flow of piglins.

The rest of the skeletons are at the edge of the outpost, focusing on piglins themselves, as well as the two arrow towers in the outpost.

What's your strategy?

 

> Protect the barracks

 

> Go in swinging

 

 

 

Protect the barracks

 

You charge into the smaller group of skeletons and a few piglins follow suit. Even more join as they come out of the barracks, which you manage to keep intact.

Soon enough, you outnumber the skeletons and defeat them with minimal casualties.

 

> Rest for a bit

 

> Tease the llamas more

 

> Keep exploring

 

Pester the llamas more

You pick up your mace and go back to your new favorite pastime, annoying the llamas. But this time, it looks like you've pushed them too far. One of them spits you right between the eyes, sending you tumbling back.

The other piglins in the outpost laugh at you. You realize you have to move on.

 

> Keep exploring

 

 

Go in swinging

 

You sprint to the skeletons and start swinging your mace wildly. You take down a couple of them, but you're surrounded and outnumbered by far. Annoyingly, their aim is uncanny, and their arrows pack a punch.

 

> Fall back!

 

> Keep going, you can take these skeletons!

 

 

 

Keep fighting

 

You swing your mace as hard as you can and as far as your little hoof-hands can reach but the barracks fall, putting a stop to the flow of piglins. Even though you're doing a lot of damage at close range, there's only so much a few piglin runts can do against an army of skeletons.

 

> Get out of there!

 

> Keep going, you're not like other runts!

 

 

Get out of there

 

Piglins aren't exactly eager to sacrifice themselves for others, and you're no exception. You got a few good hits in, it's time to put yourself first now. 

 

> Seek out a piglin base

 
 

 

Fall back

 

You return to the center of the outpost, where things are looking less grim than before. That's actually bad news for you because you like things to look grim and corrupted, just like the Nether.

Only one barrack is standing, and the gold extractors are all destroyed. The other piglins are fighting desperately to defend the outpost.

 

> Stand your ground

 

> Grab some gold and leave

 

 

 

Stand your ground

 

You rush to protect the last standing barrack. With the help of the piglins spilling out of it, you narrowly defeat the skeletons.

Sadly, the outpost is in ruins. But some piglin builders are already busy at work repairing the structures, so you consider your job done.

 

> Keep exploring

 

 

 

Grab some gold and leave

 

This outpost is going down and you could do something to stop that... but you don't feel like it. You need to look out for number one, so you frantically grab some gold and book it. 

From behind you, you can hear the desperate screams of piglins, arrows being fired, and llamas spitting. Better them than you!

Now onto the most important issue at hand: what will you do with the gold?

 

> Bonk it, of course!

 

> Eat it

 

> Take it to a piglin base

 

 

Bonk the gold

 

You bonk the gold ore. Nothing happens.

 

> Eat it

 

> Take it to a piglin base

 

 

 

Take the gold to a piglin base

 

This gold will make you the envy of every piglin! You need to show it off, and you need to do it now. 

You find a Horde of the Hunt base and excitedly run inside. You show the gold to the other piglins. Their eyes grow wide and they start running toward you.

They want your gold! Who could've predicted this shocking turn of events?

 

> Squeal loudly

 

> Run into the Nether portal

 

> Just throw the gold into the Nether portal

 

Keep exploring

 

If there's anything you love about the Overworld – aside from the gold – it's that there's always something beautiful to destroy.

You start walking down a hill but gain too much momentum for your short legs and go tumbling down.

You land on dusty, dry ground. Sand goes into your snout. It reminds you of the sandy valleys of the Nether and makes you nostalgic for a second.

When you snap out of it, you look up to see a large structure made of sulfur rock standing before you. It looks like it has an entrance. You hear a vague hissing from inside.

 

> Go inside the structure

 

> Explore the surroundings

 

 

Check out the structure

 

As you approach the structure, the hissing gets louder. What could it be? You get a very unfamiliar feeling for a piglin: maybe you're intruding here.

 

> No, go inside

 

> Explore the surroundings

 

 

 

Explore the surroundings

 

You walk around and notice several more rock structures like the first one. Strange blocky green creatures with no arms and long torsos are hissing and creeping about. They make you uneasy.

A nearby creature looks in your direction, then starts moving toward you.

 

> Bonk it!

 

> Squeal at it

 

> Run from it

 

 

Squeal at it

 

You squeal as loud as you can. The creature hisses louder. This... thing clearly doesn't fear you, which both annoys and frightens you. Fight or flight mode engaged!

 

> Bonk it!

 

> Run!

 

 

 

Run from it

 

This time, your self-preservation wins over your thirst for violence.

Outrunning the creature is easy, but you go the extra distance to make sure you're safe. As you advance, the ground turns from sand into grass, then from grass into snow. The cold doesn't bother you – that creature has already chilled you to the bone.

You see a mysterious tower to your right. Off to the left is a fluffle of bunnies. That's a lot of destruction potential.

 

> Approach the tower

 

> Bonk the bunnies

 

 

Approach the tower

 

As you get closer to the tower, it makes a clanking noise as its internal mechanism activates. You can't tell what it's doing, but you don't like it.

 

> A bonk will take care of that!

 

> On second thought, I'd rather bonk the bunnies

 

 

 

Bonk the bunnies

 

Ahh, your favorite type of victim: innocent and harmless. The bunnies scatter, but not before you hit some of them. You should be feeling really guilty right now but that's just not how piglins work.

Your thirst for brutality has been quenched, and now it's time to find a good resting spot. Even better if you can gloat about what you just did.

 

> Seek out a piglin base

 

Find a piglin base

 

After a short walk, you find a base where some Horde of the Hunt piglins are working hard to extract gold and find new ways to cause mayhem.

You walk inside and breathe in deeply. The Nether wart has done its job so far, but those Nether spreaders make the air feel like the real thing – hot and warty.

You spot the cutest warboar tippy tapping around the base. You have to pet it. 

Oh no! It looks like another piglin was faster and got to the warboar first.

 

> Play nicely together

 

> Bonk the piglin

 

Bonk the wolf

You raise your mace, and the wolf realizes something is wrong. It lets out a series of frantic barks, and suddenly, you find yourself surrounded by wolves. A lot of them.

Looks like you messed with the wrong critter. 

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

Squeal for help

 

You squeal as loud as you can in the direction of the nearby piglins, hoping they'll hear your cries for help. They do, but they don't care.

The zombie knocks you out.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

 

Attack the skeletons

 

Once again, you raise your mace, running towards the skeletons. You've never felt so brave!

But before you can even reach them, you succumb to their arrows. The last thing you feel is envy at how good their aim is. And lots of pain.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

 

Rest for a bit

 

You doze off in the safety of the outpost but the sound of battle horns wakes you up after what feels like seconds.

A mysterious figure on horseback is attacking the outpost with a large army of various creatures! Who could this stranger be?

Before you can figure it out, a small creature made of cobblestone punches you right in the snout.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

 

Enter the structure

 

As you approach the structure, you're met with a blocky, green, and very startled face. 

The hissing reaches a climax, then...

BOOM!

 

Maybe next time don't go barging into a creeper's home.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

 

Bonk the creature

 

You hit the creature as hard as you can. 

BOOM!

 

Probably a good idea to not bonk creepers on the head. Or anywhere for that matter.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 
 

 

Bonk the tower

 

You raise your mace and get ready to unleash a flurry or pre-emptive hits on the tower, but before you can reach it, it hurls a big block of ice at you. 

You're not fast enough to dodge it, so it hits you head-on. It's VERY cold. Your movements slow until you freeze in place.

Congratulations, you're a piglin popsicle!

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

 

Ask if you can play together

 

You approach the piglin and point at the warboar, ears flopping with excitement. 

The piglin doesn't refuse – instead, it throws a blaze rod at you. Then, other nearby piglins start attacking you as well, including the warboar.

Never be polite to a piglin! It's a sign of weakness.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

 

Bonk the piglin

 

You bonk the piglin and it runs away scared. The warboar wags its tail at your act of senseless violence.

You grab some Nether wart and play fetch with the warboar. You start thinking about how great it is to be a piglin. Getting to destroy the Overworld with zero remorse or consequences, then kicking back with a not-so-furry friend...

Suddenly, there's a lot of commotion at the edge of the base. A huge army of mobs led by a mysterious figure on horseback is taking the base by storm.

Before you can pick up your mace, you're hit by a skeleton's arrow.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

Eat the gold

 

You swallow the gold in one huge gulp. The weight of it in your stomach slows you down and exhausts you after a few steps. You decide to rest for a while.

Before long, you get hungry again. That gold was barely an entrée. 

Without giving it a second thought, you devour the Nether wart you had stuffed in your cloth. When you realize your mistake, it's too late. The clean air of the Overworld makes you pass out.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

Run into the portal

 

This gold is yours and you're not letting it go!

You try to jump through the Nether portal to escape the greedy mob, but the constant flow of piglins coming through pushes you back out.

But all of a sudden, there's a ton of commotion near the edge of the base. The piglins stop chasing you and rush to see what's happening.

Chaos ensues as a mysterious figure on horseback approaches you. With a swing of their sword, you're knocked out.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

Squeal loudly

 

You squeal as loud as you can, but the piglins don't care. Some even squeal back at you mockingly, which you have to admit stings a bit. 

Just as they're about to reach you, there's a ton of commotion near the edge of the base. The piglins stop chasing you and rush to see what's happening.

Chaos ensues as a mysterious figure on horseback approaches you. With a swing of their sword, you're knocked out.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

 

Throw the gold into the Nether portal

 

Without thinking, you quickly toss the gold into the Nether portal. Can't stress enough how little thought you gave this. But at least it got the piglins to back off.

Just as you think you're in the clear, there's some commotion at the edge of the base! The piglins stop chasing you and rush to see what's happening.

Chaos ensues as a mysterious figure on horseback approaches you. With a swing of their sword, you're knocked out.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

 

Keep going

 

Turns out you're not as tough as you thought. You're almost immediately overwhelmed by the skeletons.

 

> Try again as the piglin

 

> Choose a different character

 

Written By
Cristina Anderca, Sophie Austin, Sofia Dankis, and Per Landin
Published

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