Let's Play: The Bloop

“The oceans of Minecraft are so lovely and peaceful!” Who said that, you ask? Definitely not us. We know that Minecraft’s oceans are so dangerous, deadly, and full of despair that they might as well be made up of the player's tears. We hear there’s treasure to be found in Minecraft’s oceans. That’s nice. All we usually find is the ‘You Died!’ screen…

So discovering there’s a Marketplace add-on that makes Minecraft’s oceans deadlier is a bit like finding out someone’s bought the Ender Dragon a book called ‘How to Block All Player Attacks’. But if you love exploring the oceans and horror add-ons, you’re probably going to enjoy The Bloop by Mythicus at Minecraft Marketplace a lot more than us…  

Diving into Minecraft’s oceans unprepared is about as wise as investing in a concrete parachute. You’ll quickly run out of air, and your vision will be so limited that you won’t see all the many many undersea horrors coming. 

The smarter move is to visit one of the bloop’s sea villages and trade with the villagers there for proper deep diving equipment. And to admire their truly incredible headwear.

After plundering all their chests and helping ourselves to a bed, we decide to begrudgingly do some honest business with the villagers, too. They’re willing to trade for a fantastic diving suit that’ll let you breathe comfortably underwater! 

They’re not selling their amazing hats though. Bah… 

All kitted out and with an inventory full of potions of night vision, food, and a trident, we couldn’t be more prepared for whatever horrors the Bloop had in store for us! Yes, we can confidently say that nothing is going to go wrong this time. We’d bet all the villagers’ stolen treasure on it!

We dive in and enjoy a leisurely sink to the bottom of the ocean. A long leisurely sink. Gosh, if we have to make a sudden getaway for some reason, reaching the safety of the surface would take a long, long time. Thankfully, we’ve already established that nothing is going to go wrong.

Unfortunately, ‘wrong’ turns out to be the favourite word of this add-on. We soon meet horrific new interpretations of what we’d previously thought of as Minecraft’s loveliest mobs. What have they done to the poor dolphin? The nice nautilus? And what in the Overworld is this?!

Thank goodness our diving suit means we don’t have to worry about air, so we can scream as much as we want. Soon we’re bashing our trident against these aquatic nightmares, while desperately trying to swim somewhere safe.

Yeah, about that – nowhere underwater is safe. In fact, the more we desperately search for shelter, the more sea monsters spot us. Soon we have a grim conga line of sea beasts desperate to keep us under the water forever. We appreciate the attention, fellas, but could you please stop being so clingy?

We thought the drowned, the trident-lobbing underwater zombies, were plenty grim already. Tragically, Mythicus disagreed, and have given them an even-grimmer makeover. They now have one longer, creepier arm, perfect for grabbing scared swimmers who just want to go home.

But thanks to a steady diet of golden apples and constant attacking and backpedaling, it looks like we might actually make it out of the sea alive! Until we suddenly hear some very Jaws-style music booming everywhere. Oh no, an orchestra must have fallen in the sea, too! Hope they’re OK…

Actually, never mind them. Because we’re about to meet something far worse. Turns out the titular Bloop has come to say hello.

Oh come on. Even the Ender Dragon would look at the Bloop and be all “whoa, there’s no need to be that big.” How do you swim away from something that’s fifty times your size?

The answer is: unsuccessfully. Ugh, why is that always the answer?

But amazingly, we didn’t die. Instead, we were teleported to a new location… inside the bloop. Phew/ewww!

There’s a reason you don’t see many sea monster interiors in real estate linstings. Pools of bubbling water look more bone-white than promising, and the corpse of a pirate villager doesn’t exactly have us jumping for reassured joy either. 

There’s no obvious exit, and it soon becomes horribly clear that the only slim chance of escape is by taking on a boss fight inside this creature (kids, don’t eat boss fights – they give you terrible indigestion). Soon we’re in a terrifying battle with the Soul of the Bloop.

The soul has all sorts of nasty tricks. An area of effect attack that’s really hard to jump over. Pet monsters it likes to summon and send scurrying towards you. An irritating tendency to float in mid-air, forcing us to throw our trident to hit it. Which, of course, also means having to go back and fetch our trident after. Get close to this monstrosity? Remind us to thank our editor for suggesting this add-on. 

Readers curious as to whether we successfully defeated the monster are clearly new to this Let’s Play series. Nope – we died and respawned back in the village. Well, at least now we’re back on the safe side of the sea. Right?

Wrong! Turns out the Bloop doesn’t care where you are in the Overworld – it’s gonna stalk you through the seas, on land, and even in the sky. Occasionally you’ll hear villagers attempting to hum a little tune. Then that humming gets more panicky. And justifiably so, as the Bloop bursts out of the sea, swallows the villager whole, then splashes back down again. Um, rude. Oh, and terrifying. 

Think you could do a better job taking on these aquatic horrors? Almost definitely! Search for The Bloop by Mythicus at Minecraft Marketplace or click this line of lovely green text to be taken straight there. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to pay tribute to that poor dearly departed villager the only way we know how – by plundering its chest and taking a nap in its bed. Score!