Into the Craftiverse

Abe Kempster gets us off to a bad start by accidentally sending us a screenshot that’s clearly from the game Limbo instead. Wait a second... *rubs eyes and says ‘bwuh?’ repeatedly* That’s Minecraft? Yes, and a dimension so relentlessly spooky, I’m shaking to the point that my fingers can barely type this article. The editor of Minecraft.net has just informed me that’s not a good enough excuse to stop writing the article. In that case, onwards to the next dimension!

The world of I's

Given the name, you might fairly assume The World of I’s is the most selfish dimension in the multiverse. However! This submission from Fouche has entirely selfless origins. They wrote in their book "my son, the strider, went off to college I'm so proud of him". Awwww! While I wipe something out of my eye - sniff - enjoy the sunset in this, er, "lovely" looking dimension, where you can barely move without walking into another giant stone ‘I’. This image also serves as a cautionary reminder of why you should always visit your college campus before enrolling.

Sponge

Brave traveller Joseph typed "sponge" into a book, tossed it in the portal, and was granted access to... a pineapple under the sea? Sadly, no. Instead, his reward was a dimension of lava and strange geometry. Hooray! Because who needs fun cartoon undersea adventures when you can have a scalding hot maths lesson instead?

Where is Minecraft Steve?

Probably the thing I miss most about working in the Mojang Studios offices is bellowing “where is Minecraft Steve?!!?!?” at the top of my delightful lungs, each and every morning. Oh how the staff must miss me! Coincidentally, they’ve been lobbying for me to be dumped in this dimension, discovered by Szymon Jackowski, forever. Fans of the colour purple and semi-transparency will be in Heaven! I don’t like either :(

Cacti-Phobia

Not to brag, but I’m not scared of the common cactus. Just everything else. If you’re not as brave as me when it comes to cacti, you should probably give this dimension that Jeremiah Dean discovered a miss. Frankly, I don’t know what people are so scared of – I proudly smooch my cactus each and every morning. With that mental image successfully stuffed into your mind, let’s move onto the next dimension :D

Why why

Withers! TNT! Yes, Why Why from Cammie is a perfect paradise, assuming you’re a Wither or TNT-proof. In fact, I’m pretty sure Wither’s aren’t TNT proof, so how they’ve managed to survive in this dimension is a mystery well worth solving. Sadly, I’m but a humble writer, not a detective, so you’ll have to go there and solve it for me. Best of luck.

Yes

Short, sweet, and to the point. My writing could learn a lot from this dimension discovered by Kartoffel Spielen, who simply wrote "Yes" in the book. Three letters is all it took to teleport them to a dimension seemingly overrun with Ender Dragons. Hate to not go by the book here, but if someone invites you to the Yes dimension, I strongly recommend you answer in the negative.

Why are we still here, just to suffer

Thanks for keeping it light, Kruz_Shady! When we read the name of your dimension, Why Are We Still Here, Just To Suffer we were going to suggest maybe laying off the Radiohead, until we saw the results are arguably the most spectacular dimension yet. A dimension which proves that things which may seem a little dark and grim are still capable of making nice stuff! Just like me nobody I can think of I am very nice let’s move on.

The Book of Yeet

Ever the skeptic, Authorcraft tells us in their email that they thought this update "was a joke!" A joke? On April 1st? I’ve never heard something so absurd, and I’m the person who got Jens Bergensten to rap. Authorcraft wrote "Yeet" in their book and this sea-sick green dimension was the slightly queasy result. Interestingly, I googled "yeet" to find out what it means and apparently it’s "proof that you’re old and out of touch for googling this, Tom". Fascinating!

Tell me portal, where should I go?

To the eye doctor. Seriously. Owch. Thank you Bram Aspharon, for your retina-ruining submission! 

And there you have it. 10 out of 2,147,483,647 worlds – all in a day's work. Discovered an amazing dimension yourself yet? If not, just pick up a book and write "I loved Tom’s article" in it. Bless you!