Meet the Llama
They make spitting look cute! Well, almost.
You have to be pretty brave/stupid/both to try and introduce a new animal to Minecraft that can out-cute the adorable blocky sheep and little pink pigs. But the llama is so cute and so adorable, that you're probably still staring at the image at the top of this story, aren't you?
Maybe treating yourself to a little stroke. Making goo-goo eyes at it and saying "coochy-coochy-coo!" and enjoying that lovely animal, all while ignoring my hideous words. Bah! It's all just a dang beauty contest with you people.
Llamas come in four fetching colours, brown, grey, white and creamy. A neutral mob, they can be tamed just like horses and leashed together in chains to form caravans, which is far less grim and prison-chain-gangy than I've just made it sound. Honest! Llamas can even have little llama babies, as if they weren't insufferably cute enough already. Though interestingly, they weren't Jens first choice when it came to bringing a new animal to the game.
"For every major release we try to add one new animal, so I thought it was time to add the alpaca – but when I was talking here at the office, it seemed like more people were asking for a llama, Junkboy included.
So I made this Twitter poll and Llama won. I handed over the task of actually making them to Agnes Larsson, and essentially I told her to make sure the llama is clearly different. The main difference is actually that alpacas have very soft wool, and llamas have a slightly harder wool. We made llamas more beasts of burden, so you can put chests on them and they can form caravans when you pull them. We wanted to make sure you could swag them out, so you can put a carpet on them and they will get these nice costumes.
They’re actually used as guards for sheep farmers, because they attack wolves and wolves get scared by them because they essentially think “What the hell’s wrong with this sheep!?” and run away. In real life they are used as sheep guards, so that’s why we made them attack wolves."JENS BERGENSTEN
See? See. You may have thought llamas were cute before, but now you know the terrifying truth - they'll attack you, first chance they get! Admittedly, only if you're a wolf, but still.
But if you're happily ignoring my warnings, still insisting llamas are adorable, and are perfectly content with letting them guard your sheep, then FINE. What do I care? And if you think this bitter anti-llama stance is just because this writer has never been considered adorable, even when he was a baby, well then.
Shut your face.
- Tom Stone