Mounts of Mayhem: Arena Tournament

This fearsome four-legged creature looks like a camel that spent a little too much time… er… zombified. With dark, mottled fur it’s certainly bonier than regular camels. Oh, and unlike regular camels, there’s a husk is riding it - fitting! So whoever enters from the Hero door will at least see one familiar face, even if it most definitely isn’t friendly…

Here they come, our Hero!

CHALLENGER: ROUND 1

• NAME: Cristina “Cluck Cluck” Anderca
• OCCUPATION:  Writer at Mojang by day, champion hopeful by digital night!
• Strengths: Crafting, building, eating chicken
• Weaknesses: Being hungry, aiming
• Survivability rating: 2/5

Alright, interesting choice. Our challenger has entered this cave arena unmounted and empty handed, relying on their own two legs, two hands, and what looks like a very heavy inventory. At least they’re wearing a helmet! Safety first, folks.

DING! The iron golem has rung the bell and the challengers are circling each other!

The camel husk charges, the husk’s diamond sword a stark and sharp contrast to the sheer amount of brown the rider and mount bring to the table. Suspiciously close to my own color palette of choice but I’ll put a pin in those accusations for now because our hero is hit!

The sword swats them, as a collective gasp erupts from the audience. We know what this means. Our hero is not only hit, but also hungry! What a devastating turn in the very first seconds. I would give up, but before I can shout this sage advice, our hero produces an entire cooked chicken from their inventory!

What a show of culinary cunning! And they’re not done, now that their belly is full and they’re sated they’re finally breaking out a weapon! And it’s a crossbow! Excellent choice, the camel husk has speed and height on their side so our hero is going to need all the reach and range they can get. They aim! And shoot!

Miss!

Another miss.

Another miss, this one wasn’t even close.

Aaaand they’re out of arrows. The camel husk is showing no sign of slowing down. Maybe it’s just me projecting amongst all these projectiles, but it seems more motivated than ever!

A hush falls over the crowd as the camel husk hooves stampede across the arena. Our hero responds with a move that is either the bravest or dumbest this commentator/writer/husk muse has ever seen.

They’re digging.

How Minecraft.

What are they doing! Why aren’t they running!? And what’s in their hand? Is that…

…a water bucket?

It is! They splash it out, creating a moat. How clever! But that’s not going to hold the husk off for long.

But apparently, just long enough for our hero to find their spear! It’s about time! With a fierce jab-jab-jab, the husk falls from its mount. A final coup de grace and we have a winner! Huzzah!

Our hero takes a tasteful victory lap around the arena before they leap on to the camel husk in a show of total glory! Well played, hero! Not only did you win the day, but you’re riding home on a brand-new mount.

There’s no rest for the wicked, or the heroic. Our next challenger is waiting impatiently for their match to start. How will our next hero fare in this game of might? Come back soon to find out!

GO BACK TO CHAPTER 1