Sloth. Not only is it my favorite tree-dwelling mammal and character from the 1985 adventure comedy film The Goonies – but also the deadly sin I’d say I excel at! Take it from me folks, there’s nothing better to do than doing nothing. As a matter of fact, I’d like to cut this preamble short as all this writing is cutting into my time of playing today’s release of new Java Realms maps!
New on Java Realms: Maps for the lazy
Lorem ipsum these 12 new maps!
Titles – who has the time to come up with these? “Placeholder”, also known as “Uhh We Haven’t Decided on a Name Yet” takes place on a map that is due in two weeks, but as the narrator voice informs us, we’re welcome to look around as long as we don’t fiddle with anything. But fiddle we will, especially when there’s so many fun puzzles and interactions to work with in this map – like the pause button that can stop time for other entities while you can move around freely! If we set aside the powers of procrastination a gadget like that could give you, I’d be amiss to not mention what I consider the epitome of slackerness in this map: a non-combat boss fight with an evoker that is seemingly too lazy to put up any resistance!
A GIFT FOR ALLAY
by Loy, zhvsjia & KevinCreeper
Now, I haven’t checked up on this, but I believe it’s unwritten company praxis that members of Mojang Studios should not show bias towards mob vote candidates. On a completely unrelated note, my “Justice for copper & tuff golem” march is scheduled for tomorrow, and I’d love it if you could join! Past travesties aside, I do feel the allay is everything I want a mob to encompass, mainly: servitude and picking up stuff I’m too lazy to do myself! And now with “A Gift for Allay” we have a loving tribute to everyone’s favorite Minecraft butler, a 2D puzzler where you will move blocks, contest with gravity, and maybe even flip the entire level upside down in order to shower the eponymous attendant with gifts! Now personally my stance for my servants is that I consider a hard day’s work its own reward, but to each their own!
WHACK’EM REMIX
by Yeggs
The artist P. Diddy (and the Bad Boy Family) may have invented the remix, but anyone familiar with Java Realms knows that Yeggs – a true Minecraft artist – perfected it, case in point the “Whack’em Remix” map. Now remakes are my thing and I don’t think enough credit is given to those who go out of their way to reinvent the wheel (and throw some extra rims on it), so in honor of those everyday heroes, I’d like to remix former New on Java Realms honcho Marc Watson’s words from the original map’s blog post! Rejoice:
Marc WatsonIn Whack ‘Em Smack ‘Em Islands, only the swiftest and strongest will survive, as players run around one of several sky islands, jumping over obstacles, rushing up and down ladders, and generally avoiding being bopped in the noggin by their closest pals.
ALSO RELEASING TODAY
REEF RACE
by Mapmaker's Bootcamp
IN MEMORY OF DAD
by Bimmeren
FLOWER TOWN
by NapkiinsA
OH DEER, SPRINGTIME IS HERE!
by Sadical & Dxgital
VOLCANO BAY
by RiceFarmer11
RIVER OF REPOSE
by Sadical & Dxgital
BAMBOO VILLAGE
by Thunderie
PILLAR PUMMEL
by Yeggs
ARCHIPELAGO ESCAPE
by Orion Build Collective
GONNA COME UP WITH A CLEVER OUTRO LINE HERE
To learn about loading the maps above and other content into Java Realms for your PC, visit our help site. If you haven't yet tried Realms for yourself, you'll have a blue diamond on the Minecraft Realms button, located on the main screen of Minecraft: Java Edition. Click it, then follow the instructions to try Realms free for 30 days.
Want to have your own Minecraft creations featured on Java Realms and on Minecraft.net? Head over to this page, which explains the Java Realms Content Creator Program. If you have questions about this process, you can find me on Twitter.
Happy Minecrafting!
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