LET’S PLAY: CRAFTEE’S CUSTOM HEARTS DX

We start a new game and spawn in the desert biome. Score! Everyone knows the desert biome is the best biome to spawn in because of its… er… lack of trees? Alright, fine - it’s a terrible biome to spawn in. Boo!

Ah, but the first crucial difference with this map is that you spawn inside a nice house. And it’s next to a garden full of fresh produce, which is far more than this horrid game usually starts you off with.

It also comes with a new non-optional roommate. Meet Craftee!

Talk to Craftee, and they’ll tell you all about the exciting and not-at-all-gross art of heart collecting! Craftee soon informs me that I have an item in my inventory called my heartventory, in which I’ll be storing all my collected hearts. Cool/ewww!

The heartventory also gives me access to a list of all the heart crafting recipes, so I know what I need to look for out in the Overworld. Wow, thanks Craftee. We almost feel bad for getting all these tips and giving you absolutely nothing in return. Anyway, bye!

Let’s start with the easiest heart to make, the Dirt Heart. Should probably check what it does before gathering the dirt blocks and crafting it - but pfft where’s the fun in that? 

Six dirt blocks later (we’ll spare you the fascinating story of how we acquired them), we make a heart shape with them in the crafting table and are soon the proud owners of a new dirt heart. Now, we can either activate the heart by taking damage, or by punching with the heartventory it’s stored in equipped.

The results? See for yourself:

The Bastion Heart is an alchemist's dream. We use it on a dirt block. A rubbish, pathetic, uninspiring, lousy, dull, dull, DULL dirt block (no offense to any dirt blocks reading this, ofc). The dirt block instantly turns to gold!

In less good news, several baby piglins also spawn. STAY AWAY FROM OUR GOLD. Oh. They’re already gone. In that case, this heart gets five stars! Thank you for making us rich :3

Now, let’s find out what the TNT Heart does!

…OK, well, lesson learned. In our defence, who could have possibly foreseen that a heart which causes several blocks of primed TNT to fall from the sky could be dangero… ok, yep, now we write it out, we get it.

But look. Used responsibly, or just less-like-a-complete-idiot-y, these hearts can have huge benefits. The Dirt Heart makes the (whisper it) occasionally tedious act of digging up dirt a breeze, and fighting hostile horrors is a lot easier when you can summon an army of angry bees or make the sky rain anvils (definitely try the Anvil Heart). 

Plus! There’s even a special reward for collecting all 30 hearts. We’re not going to spoil it, because we’re nice. That’s why. Totally not because we haven’t managed to collect all 30 hearts yet. Cough cough.

There’s truly a heart here for everyone. Wish that every time you got hit in the face you could immediately teleport home and plot revenge? The Enderman Heart will instantly teleport you back to your spawn point. Wish your life contained more angry bees? Who doesn’t? Equip the aforementioned Bee Heart! Or just attack some bees! Er, actually, don’t do that.

Our personal favourite heart? Awww thank you for asking! It has to be the Village Heart. Does it help you win over the hearts and minds of the villagers? Ha! No, who cares about those losers? It makes you RICH!

Boy, I sure hope none of this website’s millions of villager readers are reading this… If you want to go heart-hunting yourself, look up Craftee’s Custom Hearts DX by LogDotZip on the Minecraft Marketplace. Or just click this lovely line of green text to be taken right there. Or use the Minecraft Marketplace Heart to be teleported into the Minecraft Marketplace and never, ever be able to escape. Thankfully, I just made that one up. Hooray!