Make friends (and enemies) with flowers!

Friendship is hard, right? You have to do things like remember another person’s exact birthday and maybe even (gasp) help them move. It can be hard to navigate the expectations that friendships place upon us, but luckily for you, I am an expert at reading social cues! Well, in Minecraft, anyway. 

The secret to friendship is bribery, I mean, giving awesome gifts! And who doesn’t love flowers? These endearing little clusters of pixels bring a bright flash of joy to anyone’s screen. But how do you know what kind of person likes a certain kind of flower? Well, my sweet little apprentices of human/pixel friendship, let me be your guide!

OXEYE DAISY

Nothing says “I find you perfectly adequate” like a handful of oxeye daisies. They’re the Minecraft equivalent of “buying” flowers from your neighbour’s garden. Are they still cute? Yes. Do they require a lot of effort? No. But aren’t the best friendships the ones where you can be your most authentic, laziest self? Agree with that or we’re not friends anymore.

GIVE AN OXEYE DAISY TO someone you’re not sure about yet. Nothing says “I might want to be your friend later, but can’t be bothered to make a decision now” like the oxeye daisy.

LILY OF THE VALLEY

The lily of the valley is one of my favourite flowers in Minecraft because they are just so gosh darn pretty! They’re also, like their “real world” counterparts, gosh darn poisonous! Yes, even a single bite of the gorgeous lily of the valley will hit you with a poison effect in Minecraft. The lily of the valley is everything you could ever want – beauty, grace, and the ability to stop a person’s heart (literally)!

GIVE A LILY OF THE VALLEY TO your frenemy. It’s all smiles and flowers on the surface, but it sends the message that “I will straight up throw you in an End portal if you touch my things”. 

BLUE ORCHID

Blue orchids are the most particular flowers in Minecraft, as you can only find them in swamp biomes. They’re worth the trek though, as their bright blue blooms are unlike anything else in the game. Blue orchids in the real world are also extremely rare – and expensive. I happen to think that searching the Overworld for the perfect blue orchid is a far grander gesture than shelling out perfectly good snack money at the florist. 

GIVE A BLUE ORCHID someone who lives in the swamp. They’ve made the… interesting… decision to live in the swamp, and now you want to take their flowers away? For shame. 

POPPY

Poppies are cute little red flowers that are common to the Overworld. The greatest thing about poppies is that they are the chosen flower of the Iron Golem! Yes, the mighty Iron Golem offers poppies to the Villagers they are sworn to protect. What, I’m not crying! I’m just allergic to kindness. 

GIVE A POPPY TO the Iron Golem for once! 

WITHER ROSE

Yikes. The wither rose is an all-round non-stop bad time. First, you have to summon a Wither. Then that screaming demon with three angry heads will kill nearby mobs, cause demons gonna do what demons gonna do (murder), and ONLY THEN do one of those poor mobs have the chance to spawn a wither rose. That’s how you get a wither rose, but of course, you’ll need to, you know… survive the wither attack in order to enjoy your brand new murder flower. 

GIVE A WITHER ROSE TO brag that you totally survived a Wither attack! Assuming you do survive. Best of luck!

DANDELION

Dandelions are a common sight both in Minecraft and the “real world.” Even though dandelions are considered a weed, they’re edible and are part of many dishes and herbal remedies! Eating a dandelion in Minecraft grants the effect of saturation, which reduces the need to eat! So in a pinch, it’ll do as a grassy snack. I don’t recommend trying it in the “real world” though, because shoving fistfuls of dandelions into your mouth will get you very suspicious looks at the nearby children’s park. 

GIVE A DANDELION TO that friend who is always coming over to your place for “a light snack” until your fridge and cabinets are stripped completely bare.

SUNFLOWER

Sunflowers are the only flower that has its own biome – the Sunflower Plains. Sure, you can find a tulip in the Sunflower Plains, but we’re not gonna change the name now. That’s the kind of authority the sunflower has around here. Another fun fact about the sunflower is that they always face east in the game, towards the rising sun! So if you “fell from a great height” and your compass is lost at the bottom of a ravine and you’re just too “tired” to get it – you can use sunflowers to guide your way home.

GIVE A SUNFLOWER TO your friend who is always getting lost! Assuming you can find them :(

That’s my absolutely fail-proof guide to getting your friends flowers in Minecraft. Except for the fact that this advice is extremely fallible and sketchy at best. On second thought, maybe you should just get your friends a chest full of diamonds. Seems way easier.