My first time in the Deep Dark

I have a confession to make: I have never been to the Deep Dark – one of. I haven't even tried, actually. I've seen the Deep Dark trailers, and that's convinced me that I don't ever need to find it – just knowing it's down there, somewhere deep below the ground, is enough for me, and if I ever need diamonds, I dig down, I get diamonds, and I leave IMMEDIATELY.

That is, until recently. Because, you see, what would make for a better Minecraft mini-essay than The Time I Went To The Deep Dark For The First Time Even Though I Did Not Want To? So, I covered myself in diamond armor, pickaxe at the ready, and prepared to dig a really big and horribly deep hole to go and face my nightmares. All for you, dear readers. All for you...

Luckily, I knew where the closest Deep Dark biome was, having accidentally brushed up against it once while searching for underground goodies, so it didn't take long to find it. It took longer to convince myself to jump in, of course, like a kid on their first swimming lesson, standing at the side of the pool thinking "Oh, this is how I die." 

I had with me a companion so that I had someone to leave behind as bait if a warden would find u... er, I mean, so that I had moral support, of course. And, as it turned out, this was no ordinary Deep Dark – there was an ancient city, too! It was almost enough to make me actually want to venture into this nightmare.

Once we stepped onto the sculk floor, I was ready to be immediately annihilated, but to my surprise... nothing happened! It was just a beautiful, wide open space, lit by flickering candles and the pale glow of the teal sculk sensors. I remembered my training and immediately crouched so that we wouldn't set off the sculk sensors enough to summon a warden. And for the first couple of minutes, everything worked perfectly.

I could hear the clicking before I even saw it. The pulsing darkness made it impossible to see where it was, so my "run away!" plan wasn't really possible. I tried throwing another egg, but because I couldn't see where this otherwordly mob was, I threw it right next to me. The "it" was, of course, a warden.

That's when it began to scream. Did all the chickens give it a migraine? Had I intruded upon its hallowed ground? The story doesn't tell, but coincidentally, this was also the moment when I realized that I was right not to come down here in the first place. I had no choice but to stay very, very still. 

I finally spotted it lumbering over to me, its ominous heartbeat increasing. I had one of those Jurassic Park-type moments when the massive creature was standing right over me, sniffing, glowing, and generally making all the blood in my body turn to stone. Just when I thought my Jurassic moment was going to end with me getting out alive... I died. I guess it found me after all. Or rather – screamed at me so loudly that my soul left my blocky body.

Well. That'll teach me to go to the big scary place with nothing but eggs and hope! 
I don't know if this experience has left me braver, wiser, or just more experienced – but I feel like it can't get much worse than my first experience. Maybe I'll go back someday. I just don't think I'll take eggs next time.