Trick-or-treat yourself to some ghastly garb!
Last Halloween, I decided to wow the Mojang offices by making my very own Blaze costume! Almost a year later, they’re still putting out that fire and I have to write this fun guide to much-safer Minecraft costumes as punishment. Fair!
With Halloween just ten terrifying days away, we’ve got everything you need to dress up as your favourite Minecraft characters! So stop covering yourself in mud in a futile attempt to make a coarse dirt block costume, and try one of these instead:
Creep everybody out with this inflatable attire. You’ll be the first Creeper that’s safe to hug! This polyester outfit has a battery-powered fan that makes it easy to inflate, deflate, and keep inflated while wearing (so no risk of it over-inflating and bursting, even though that would be perfectly appropriate for a Creeper). Frankly, a costume this good shouldn’t be restricted to just one day a year, which is why I wear it to the office every day.
CANDY YOU’RE LIKELY TO RECEIVE IF YOU GO TRICK-OR-TREATING IN IT: Do you really think they’re going to give bad candy to a kid they (wrongly) think might explode?
DIY ALTERNATIVE: Paint yourself green and spend the night hissing at everyone, then enjoy a long evening of correcting people who think you’re meant to be a snake.
Prove you’re the toughest kid on your block with this diamond armour set, made of real diamonds materials! Approximately 843574267266% more comfortable than wearing actual diamond armour, this costume offers excellent head protection, a sophisticated blue-and-white colour scheme that says ‘yeah I went to the Nether and skipped back unharmed – what of it?’ and shoulder pads worthy of the 1980s (ask your parents – but if they offer to show you photos, run away screaming).
CANDY YOU’RE LIKELY TO RECEIVE IF YOU GO TRICK-OR-TREATING IN IT: “Honey, he’s wearing diamonds. Candy isn’t going to be good enough for this billionaire child. Get the gold-plated caviar!”
DIY ALTERNATIVE: Easy, just glue all those spare diamonds you have lying around to your normal clothes.
Roleplay as everyone’s favourite bearded block-placer! Starting with some stylish navy blue pants, this costume gets steadily blockier, with its rounded rectangle shoulders and then perfectly cuboid head. You could even buy five hundred of these costumes, then stack all the heads together to make your own Steve-faced fortress. Money well spent!
CANDY YOU’RE LIKELY TO RECEIVE IF YOU GO TRICK-OR-TREATING IN IT: “Whoa, look at your perfectly cuboid head! You must be the actual Steve from actual Minecraft. Forget candy, let me whip you up a mushroom soup!”
DIY ALTERNATIVE: Wait several years for puberty to kick in and then shave your newly grown beard to look just like Steve’s.
What makes this Alex costume truly prestige? It has to be the outrageous blocky feet, worthy of the Met Gala (bet Ezra Miller is kicking himself with his inferior shoes for not wearing this). They’re also surprisingly easy to walk in, as you can tell from the ‘am I dancing or am I running for my life?’ pose the model is pulling in this photo. Why would you need to run when you’re wearing a costume this creative? To show it off to more people who don’t have blocky feet? Good idea!
CANDY YOU’RE LIKELY TO RECEIVE IF YOU GO TRICK-OR-TREATING IN IT: They’ll offer you all the candy in the world in exchange for your fabulous footwear. REFUSE.
DIY ALTERNATIVE: Paint some shoeboxes black then stamp some holes in them and wear them as shoes. Although people might just think you’re dressed as someone who’s had a tantrum in a shoe store. Hey, that’s what I’m going as this year!
A monster that is equally iconic on Halloween and in Minecraft, no one’s going to groan when they see how much effort you’ve gone into embracing your undead potential. Order a size too big and then you’ll be shuffling just like an actual zombie! It’s stupid ideas like that which explain why the zombies never go for my brain.
CANDY YOU’RE LIKELY TO RECEIVE IF YOU GO TRICK-OR-TREATING IN IT: Pretty good, but make sure the homeowner doesn’t try to take advantage of your costume by giving you all that Rotting Flesh they have lying around.
DIY ALTERNATIVE: Get bitten by an actual zombie. Infection should take an hour or two to kick in, so schedule your trick-or-treating time accordingly.
Need more Minecraft accessories and costumes to complete your Halloween look? Click here!
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