Marketplace Spotlight

The enhancements aren't limited to player animations, either. Lanterns bob convincingly in your grip as you jog around in search of nighttime shelter. Arrows sink themselves into surfaces with a satisfying wobble as skeleton archers pepper you with projectiles. And those same skeleton heads spin, yo-yo-like on their neck joints as you shriekingly biff them in the face with a shovel. Exceptional.

Rating: Five spinning skeleton heads out of five.

RealismCraft

Remember the very first time you played Minecraft? You gathered some wood. You saw a creeper and screamed so loudly that your neighbours called the police. And then you dug a hole in the ground and wept inconsolably for the entirety of your first night. Yes, these are relatable experiences and I am a true everyman.

RealismCraft by Spark Universe is packed with so many game-changing additions that it can feel like you're discovering Minecraft for the first time all over again. When a hungry gator lunges at you from the murky swampwater, when you're ascending a vertical cliff-face with the climbing spikes, or when you stumble through the fog to find yourself face-to-face with a towering pillager outpost – these are the moments that make you feel like an awestruck rookie all over again, crying in a hole while a police community support officer shouts words of consolation through your letterbox.

As if all that wasn't enough, there's new biomes, bosses, and (it took admirable strength of will not to mention this first) RIDEABLE DRAGONS.

Rating: One baby Ender Drake, who you'll look after and feed and cherish and love.

Dwellers

Not everything is as it seems in Dwellers, the seriously spooky add-on by Panascais. Spawning into a gloomy forest with little more than a flickering flashlight with which to defend myself, I read the in-game instruction manual/frightening grimoire with dismay. There are 10 Dwellers out there somewhere, and none of them sound especially friendly.

As if the prospect of facing down the Watchtower, the Unseeing Death, or the Man From The Fog wasn't bad enough, there's also Mimics to contend with. These shapeshifting horrors can assume the form of more humdrum mobs. I resolve that I won't get caught out. 

No less than five minutes later, I walk too close to a sheep, see its once-placid sheep-face transform into a horrible rictus grin, and almost hurl my office chair out of the window in sheer, confused panic. It's certainly a jolt, but the real horrors arrive once the sun sets behind the horizon.

I hear strange sounds. I start to run, but then I’m held in place as though by an invisible, grasping hand. I see glowing eyes in the trees and shut down my PC by kicking it until the screen goes dark.

Rating: 5 stars, which all turn out to be mimics that chase you through the woods :(

Better on Bedrock

Everything sounds better if you call it a quest. The entire jar of peanut butter I just ate with a spoon? That was a quest for protein. The samovar of coffee I emptied with a straw? A quest for caffeine. The ambulance ride I subsequently took to the hospital? A quest for wellbeing. And medicines.

Better on Bedrock by Poggy understands the power of a good quest. You'll spawn with a quest to gather some wood, for instance, and you'll be rewarded for your efforts once you complete it. There's a host of main quests like this to guide you through the fundamentals of Minecraft – while showering you with sweet rewards – as well as introducing you to many of the new mobs, blocks, and structures introduced in this sprawling DLC.

It'd be wrong to suggest that Better on Bedrock is all about gentle vibes and hand-holding, though, a lesson I abruptly learned when I heard the flap of vast wings and a blast of purple fire brought an end to my hunt for cobblestone. That's how I was introduced to the Flender, one of Better on Bedrock's fearsome bosses (who just happened to be hanging out by my starting area, like an appalling bully).

Rating: Flender approved

RLCraft Bedrock Edition

I feel so helpless that I start looking enviously at the sheep that are wandering by. They don't seem confused or frightened or too ashamed to even meet the eyes of their loved ones. They're just eating lovely grass. Why can't I just eat lovely grass?

Let me explain. I've downloaded RLCraft Bedrock Edition by Honeyfrost and created a new world. A polished tutorial explains exactly what I've let myself in for: challenging combat, transformative new crafting mechanics, an intricate levelling system. Yeah yeah, I think. I understand Minecraft. It'll be fine.

Reader, it was not fine. Within seconds of spawning, I'm charged down by an irate bear. Barely 90 seconds later, I'm swarmed by a terrifying herd of scorpions. On the next spawn, it's a 10-foot-tall pumpkin-headed monster that does me in.

You might wonder why I don't build myself a nighttime shelter. Well, the first thing to note is that all these things clobbered me in broad daylight. The second is that even gathering basic materials is hard work in RLCraft – you need to break gravel to find some flint; smash the flint against a stone to produce a flint shard; break some leaves to get a stick; then combine your flint shard and your stick to make a flint knife. Congratulations! You're still only partway to being able to break wood blocks from a tree trunk.

But the payoff for all your hard work is one of the deepest and most rewarding survival experiences you can find on the Marketplace. Just make sure you pay attention to the tutorial.

Rating: 100 undignified despawns

Huggy & Friends

"This next add-on is all about fuzzy children's toys," my Minecraft.net editor explained with a reassuring smile. "I'm sure you'll have a really nice time with it."

And so I fire up Huggy & Friends by Spark Universe, pausing only to think that that sounds like a lovely, comforting name. The world I load into is a tranquil one – snow falls lazily around me, dusting the trees and villager huts. What a wonderful assignment, I think to myself. I'm so lucky I was able to reschedule that appointment with the heart doctor in order to make time for it.

Wait, what's that big blue thing on the horizon? I try to get a closer look, but it disappears. There it is again. I can feel my pulse rapidly accelerating, like a sports car made of veins. I turn a corner and see the crouching form of Huggy Wuggy grinning at me. It has so many teeth and they're all so sharp. Oh no.

Well, that was a nightmare and I may never be the same. My only hope – my only hope – is that the next DLC in this list is something calm and peaceful and kind.

Rating: 7 out of 7 on the Geneva Goosebump index

The One Who Watches

Picture the scene: I'm pale with fright, shivering in a chair with a heavy blanket draped over my shoulders. Someone hands me a soothing cup of cocoa. I look up to see the face of my editor. "Not another horror add-on," I say, my knees audibly clacking together in fear. Without breaking eye contact, they somehow send an email to my phone with a link to The One Who Watches by Mythicus Studios and Pixel Coder.

This is how I find myself loading another survival world. At first, everything seems ordinary. The sun is high in the sky, and before long I've crafted myself a simple set of stone tools. I'm struck by how calm everything seems. By the time the sun rises the next morning I feel lighter, less tense.

But the second day is different. I find an abandoned cabin with a diary inside. Whoever wrote it was being pursued by… something. When I head outside, I think I see a shape in the trees. No, it was nothing.

Later that evening, I start to hear footsteps I can never trace to their source. As I hurry back to my humble little cabin, I think I see deep scratch-marks on a tree. I keep moving.

This is the kind of slow-burn tension that The One Who Watches offers. While other horror add-ons aim to shock your socks off, this creation is more subtle, more sinister. And by the time It finally does appear, your nerves are frayed and your trust in your editor is shattered.

Rating: Verified spooktacular

Furniture Builder

Even a quick scan through the feature-set of Furniture Builder by Lofi Girl is enough to bring a tear of joy to a veteran builder's eye. There's a huge range of craftable, connectable, functional blocks that you can use to create a smorgasbord of beautiful structures.

Whether you want to whip up a double bed with a creeper-themed bedspread, decorate your home with a gleaming piano, or hang curtains THAT YOU CAN OPEN AND CLOSE to your heart’s content, this add-on has you covered.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I am not known for the beauty of my builds. A generous observer might call my Minecraft dwellings homely. A more truthful onlooker might say that my house looks like somebody drained a swimming pool and put a bed in it.

So, providing me with unfettered access to a tool like Furniture Builder is like giving a dog access to a Stradivarius violin – whatever the outcome, you'll be left with the sense that the results might have been better if an expert had been present.

Remarkably, Furniture Builder can cater even to someone as creatively lacking as me, thanks to the inclusion of the structure placer – a handy tool that can erect a gorgeous multistorey home for you in a matter of moments. All you need to do is provide the materials.

Rating: a beautiful credenza, sensitively restored

And there you have it, one of the rapidest rapidfire rundowns of the Minecraft Marketplace this world of ours has ever seen. I don't know about you, but the effort has left me drenched with sweat.

But, as impressive as my labours undoubtedly are (some onlookers are already using the word 'herculean'), this still represents a truly tiny slice of what's on offer. If there's one thing this piece has made clear to me, it's that there are so, so many incredible add-ons and worlds to explore at Minecraft Marketplace. And many of them are trying to frighten me into an early grave.