The sun is shining brightly, warming the rest of the villagers as they go about their day. But as the hardest working of all the hard-working villagers, you are always two steps ahead. You notice that the village chest is running low on resources. You need to restock, and fast, before anyone else beats you to it. Hrrrm, what is the most efficient place to start gathering?
A hard-working villager
> Head to the forest to gather wood
Gather wood
You can never have enough wood, or as your grandparents used to say, hrrmy hm huuuuh hm. You tear up at the beauty of the expression as you head to the forest. When you arrive, glassy-eyed and bushy-tailed, you start searching for the perfect tree. Suddenly, you hear a noise. Was that… a llama? Oh joy! But wait, those llama noises sound like llama shrieks and llama grunts. Not on your watch! You get closer and confirm your awful suspicions, a llama is being tormented by two piglins. You need to act fast!
> Attack the piglins
> Try to intimidate the piglins
> Distract the piglins
Check out the red dirt
That patch of dirt is alluring. It’s just so weird. And… red. You move towards it, so entranced that you almost miss the aggressive thumping sounds and chaotic squeals that are coming from the very same direction.
> Better head to the forest to gather wood
> Look for a coal deposit instead
> Get closer and investigate
Look for a coal deposit
Coal may not be in as much abundance as wood, but that doesn’t discourage the hardest working villager in all the village. Yes, that’s you. And it just so happens that you know an excellent coal-gathering spot!
> Head to the badlands
Investigate the red dirt
You take a deep breath and let your curiosity take the wheel. Creeping closer, you spot an ominous structure. The squeals grow louder as a piglin outpost comes into view. It towers over you, because it’s big but also because you are very, very close to it. So close, in fact, that the piglins have spotted you! Hrrrm!!!
> Try to run away
> Fight back
> Hide in a bush
Run from the piglins
You run as fast as your villager legs allow. The piglins are as fast as they are vicious, and they’re gaining on you. Just when you thought you were done for it, you spot a patch of speed wheat. What luck! You run into it and leave a herd of confused piglins in the dust as you zoom out of their sight. Now only one problem remains – where are you running?
> Head to the forest to gather wood
> Look for a coal deposit
Distract the piglins
You decide to go with the stealthiest option, which also happens to showcase one of your many talents. You show off your very best bird impression. Hrrm hm! Hrrrm hm!
The piglins turn to look at you. Success! The piglins aren’t focused on the llama anymore. But they are focused on you. Less success. What’s next?
> Run!
> Yup. Probably best to run!
> No more thinking, just RUN!!!
Scare the piglins
You grab a bunch of branches and stuff them into your robe. This is a good look for you! Very tall, very leafy. You feel confident and strong as you charge the piglins, doing your best ghost impression. They run away in a flurry of terrified oinks.
The llama looks slightly less indifferent, maybe even a little grateful. Does that mean… you can pet it?
> Pet it
> Go get some wood
Run!!!!!
You abandon all bird laws and begin to run. However, so do the piglins. They may look squishy, they may sound squeaky, but those piglins run like they’re made of whatever material goes into sneakers. As the chase ensues, the ground turns dry and the scenery becomes increasingly arid. Oh, great! You must have reached the dry savanna! A quick glance over your shoulder confirms that the piglins are still following you, and an even quicker glance down confirms that you are also knee-deep in mud.
> Accept your fate. You are the mud now.
> Struggle
> Keep walking. Slowly.
Try to pet the llama
You reach for the llama, slowly.
The llama spits at you, quickly.
Did you really expect anything else? It’s a llama.
> Finally grab some wood
Become the mud
This is it, kid. The moment you’ve been waiting for. Time to fulfill your destiny and become one with the mud. Letting your body go limp, you submerge yourself in the mud puddle. The only part of your body that isn’t submerged is your nose, for aesthetic and survival purposes.
You hear the piglins' muffled oinks grow softer until only silence and mud surround you. You think you’re alone now.
> I don't care. This is my life now.
> Get out of the mud puddle
Grab some wood
OK, but how much wood would a wood-less villager want?
> Enough to carry comfortably
> As much as you can carry
> THE MOST
Keep on keeping on
The slog is real, but you are no quitter! You wade through the mud, slowly. The piglins are catching up, reaching one end of the mud pit as you get to the other. You hesitate – should you wade to the middle and wait it out while they circle you?
The hesitation was not needed, as the piglins leap into the mud. Thanking your lucky stars that your powers of deduction are on par with each other, you pull yourself out of the mud and dive head-first into a bunch of speed wheat. The piglins squeal furiously as you run like the wind. Suddenly, something catches your eye. You come to a halt, it’s the llama that the piglins were tormenting!
> Pet it!
> Keep going, you have wood to deliver!
THE MOST
Honey, more is more! Especially when it comes to lumber.
You stack the wood blocks precariously before you lift the entire stack. You can just about balance it and can barely see where you’re going.
But you have ALL THE WOOD!
> You've made your choice, now let's go.
Head to the badlands
The badlands. They’re actually pretty good lands if you’re searching for coal, which is exactly why you’re here.
Surveying the area, you spot a large vein inside a ravine. Perfect!
But wait – how do you expect to reach it down there?
> Fast and fun!
> Slowly and carefully
Descend slowly and carefully
You begin your descent sensibly, one block at a time. But after the first block, you remember you are totally afraid of heights! Hrrrmmmm! Your villager face is sweating and your villager legs are shaking.
Considering your panicked state, it really isn’t your fault that you take a wrong step and tumble down to the bottom of the ravine. And it really isn’t your fault that you make a lot of noise on the way down. So much noise that one of the pesky piglins hears you.
It turns quickly and throws a blaze rod in your direction!
> Try to dodge it
> Try to catch it
> Scream very loudly
Fast and fun
Channeling your inner goat, you jump from block to block. You make it to the bottom of the ravine in a matter of seconds.
Just as you are about to let out a victorious goat scream, you notice a piglin keeping watch nearby.
It hasn’t spotted you yet – what do you do?
> Hide behind a bush
> Startle it
Dodge it
With a swiftness you didn’t know you possessed, you dodge the blaze rod! You are victorious, but the piglin is annoyed. That can’t be good.
Your proud moment is ruined as the piglin takes out and readies another blaze rod while running toward you. Hey! That’s cheating! Well, maybe not. But it’s unsportsmanlike for sure.
Scream very loudly
You turn yourself into the scariest, loudest possible version of a villager.
HRRRRM!!!!
The piglin is shocked. Maybe you managed to be truly scary, or maybe it was just not expecting that level of effort from you. Either way, the end result is the same – the piglin flees, leaving you alone in the ravine.
> Keep moving through the ravine
Startle the piglin
You sneakily sneak up behind the piglin before you less sneakily let out a loud HRRRRRM. The piglin responds by shrieking in terror.
You scream at each other for a few more seconds until you can’t remember why you started in the first place. Oh yeah! You wanted to startle it. Sounds like you succeeded, and that it’s time for both of you to get out of there.
The piglin seems to have the same idea since it scurries up the ravine wall, out of sight. That was easy, and loud! A win-win.
> See what the piglin was doing
Hide behind a bush
You bravely hide and wait for the piglin to walk away. But it’s not walking anywhere. In fact, it’s staying firmly put! The piglin appears to be fascinated by something. Something shiny. Something… golden!
That pesky piglin found a gold ore vein, something you both covet. The piglin is poking at the gold with its mace with little success. The piglin keeps poking and now you have a choice to make.
It would be so cool to bring that gold back for the village chest. But how are you going to get it away from the piglin?
> Wait it out
> Pretend to be a piglin
Run toward the piglin
You manage to startle the piglin with your recklessness bravery! Boo-yah! It runs away, leaving you to make your own way through the ravine.
> Explore the area
Pretend to be a piglin
Hrr–uh-OINK! You grab a nearby stick, tie a rock to the end of it, and do your very best piglin impression. The snort-hrrrm mélange is entrancing, if you do say so yourself.
You approach the piglin, which is still poking at the gold ore. You mirror its actions until the piglin turns to look at you.
> Oink
> Hit the piglin with the stick
Explore the ravine
You only make a few steps forward when you come across a gold ore vein. It is surrounded by piglin hoofsteps, which isn’t surprising because gold is just great. What’s not to love? Piglins and villagers both covet the shiny, valuable ore – granted, the latter to a much lesser extent.
You think the coast is clear, but is it worth the risk to bring some back to impress the other villagers?
> Yes. Mine ALL the ore
> Seriously, mine it. It's a no-brainer
> No silly decisions this time! Let's mine
Hit the piglin
You hit the piglin with all your strength, which isn't much, but you did your best.
The piglin snorts. Is it… is it laughing? At you? The audacity! It turns back to the gold and continues poking at it. You may have fooled it into thinking you’re a piglin. A piglin would normally react violently to being mocked, but you were close enough.
So… what now, totally-real piglin?
> Grab a reasonable amount of ore and get out of there
> Take ALL the ore
Mine some ore
Carefully, you mine the ore. You can’t get too close to the piglin or the jig will surely be up. It gives you a curious glance, but no more. There is too much ore to poke at.
As soon as you’ve mined all the ore you can carry, you gather it up and walk away. You take a look back to make sure that you’ve gotten away with it. You have! Yes! Victory is yours.
Well, it was, until you tripped from not looking where you were going.
As you hit the ground, you let out a very villager-y hrrrrrrmmmmm. That is not very piglin-y of you! The piglin noticed too, turning around with a scowl. Uh-oh.
> Run
> Throw some ore to distract it!
Oink
You let out the most convincing oink that you can muster. The piglin stares at you, trying very, very, very hard to figure out what is so off about you.
You try to act as if this were the most normal situation in the world and think about your next step.
> Grab some ore and RUN
> Stare back
Mine all the ore
Duh. Come on, it’s G O L D. You start mining, the awe and admiration the villagers are sure to express fuelling you like a fire.
You have a one-track mind, which eliminates other senses, such as hearing. You’re making a lot of noise, luring the piglin you scared earlier back to seek revenge. And this time, it brought reinforcement in the form of not one, but two friends! Hrrrmm!!!
They’re heading toward you. What do you do?
> Grab the ore and run
> Try to share the ore
Stare back
You stare at each other. It's tense.
> Keep staring
> Poke the piglin with the stick to see if it's still alive
Keep staring
Well, well, well. Look’s like we’ve got a staring contest on our hands! Or rather, our eyes.
> Keep staring
> Blink
Blink
The piglin wears a very smug look on its face. Satisfied that it won, the piglin goes back to poking the ore.
> Grab some ore and get out of there
> Take all the ore as a consolation prize
Take all the ore for yourself
You mine. With abandon! Once you encroach its space, however, the piglin goes into an immediate frenzy and attacks you. Looks like you went too far, even for a fellow piglin.
You get into an intense scuffle, but the piglin is too vicious for you. You barely have time to register it overpowering you before everything goes black.
When you wake up, you’re trapped in a piglin cage next to a very irate llama.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Attack the piglins
You charge at the piglins, swinging your body back and forth. It’s about as effective as it sounds, i.e. not at all.
The piglins raise their maces and before you know it, you and the llama end up in a cage. Huh. That wasn’t part of your heroic plan at all! To add insult to very painful injuries, the llama will not stop giving you the stink eye.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Hide in a bush
Those noises need to be muffled! Luckily, you spot a bush that would work as both a sound barrier and shelter. Phew! What a lucky break. You dive head-first into it and just as you begin to nestle in, you feel an alarmingly familiar sensation. This was no safe bush at all, but poison vine! Quick as a cat, you leap out and come face to face with an approaching herd of piglins.
You look at the bush.
You look at the piglins.
Hrrrmmm. You’re stuck beneath a rock and a hard place, if that rock were actually several rocks barreling towards you, and the hard place was actually quite itchy. This is an impossible choice! So impossible in fact, that you don’t make it but black out as the piglins sound their war horn.
After some time – you assume several years, but probably less than that – you wake up inside a cage. Hrrrrrmno! The piglins have trapped you, leaving you to wait for rescue. If only there was a brave hero that could save you from this predicament…
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Fight back
You silly goose! Did you confuse "warrior" with "villager"? The piglins certainly didn’t, who easily evade your headbutts by simply being too short to take any damage.
As you fling yourself to the ground, the piglins roll their eyes and sigh at how easy it was to capture you. They grab your villager arms and drag you to their outpost where they lock you in a cage.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Struggle
This mud is no match for you! Or, wait. Maybe it is? As you flail wilder than you’ve ever flailed before (and that’s saying something), you sink deeper into the mud pit.
The piglins catch up and pull you out. Hey! Maybe they’re not so pesky after all. Hey, HEY! The piglins are in fact peskier than ever, you think as they thwack you over the head with a mace. Everything goes dark.
Everything goes bright again, illuminating both the predicament and the cage you find yourself in. Piglins and strange structures surround you, the ground is red and barren. You don’t have many choices left. None, in fact! Might as well sit down and wait for someone to save you.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Get out of the mud
With a heroic HRRRRRM, you burst out of the mud puddle. You take a moment to let the mud sink into your skin, making the most of this spa day. After such deep relaxation, you are in no mood or shape to gather wood or any other supplies. You return to the village, empty-handed but fresh-faced.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
The mud life has chosen you
You have no business fighting fate. You are the mud now.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
As much as you can carry
You pick up as much wood as you can, and when you reach capacity you start heading back to the village. Your vision is only partially obstructed by the wood, so you can find your way back. However, you miss the adorable wolf that was wagging its tail at you. It really wanted to be petted!
When you arrive, your fellow villagers are super impressed with the amount of wood you brought back! That’s almost as great as petting a wolf you didn’t even see.
> Play again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Too much wood!
You stumble your way to the village, dropping a block with every step you take. You arrive at the village holding exactly three blocks of wood. Your fellow villagers side-eye you.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Get just enough wood
You grab some wood. It’s a decent amount, if you do say so yourself. Not too much, not too little. You bid adieu to the llama. It ignores you.
However, on the way back, you spot an adorable wolf that is very eager to be petted! You gladly stroke its head. It makes your day.
When you get back to the village, your fellow villagers also acknowledge your presence (take that, llama!) and thank you as you add your wood to the village chest. A pretty great day, all things considered!
> Play again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Just deliver the wood
Llamas don’t have any time for affection. They’re busy! You decide to respect its time and keep going. On the way back to the village, you run into a wolf. You pet it instead, and it’s great!
You return to the village with plenty of wood and good cheer. You’re so happy to be home that nothing can get you down, not even that ominous red cloud on the horizon.
> Play again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Pet the llama
You approach the llama, which is indifferent to your presence. You try to play it cool. It can’t know how much you want to pet it. It looks so soft! You extend your elbow, but that was too much too soon. The llama is not having it, not in this economy. It spits at you, knocking you back so hard that you drop all of your wood.
You pick it back up and return to the village in a foul mood. You fume as you stomp into the village, seeing red. Everything looks red actually, especially that ominous cloud on the horizon.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Try to catch the blaze rod
Oomph! The blaze rood hits you square in the chest. Hrrrm! It hurts! You pass out from the pain, and also from the adrenaline of scaling the ravine. It’s been a big day for you!
When you wake up, you find that you are no longer in the ravine, but held captive in a cage.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Run from the piglin
You do the only thing you can do – RUN! But running up a mountain is just as hard as it sounds. You still try your best, but the piglin catches up and hits you with a blaze rod. You succumb to the darkness.
When you un-succumb, you find yourself in a locked cage. The good news is there’s a llama to keep you company. The bad news is that you’re both surrounded by loud, violent piglins. If only somebody would save you!
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Wait it out
You wait and wait, but the rhythmic and melodious clanking of the mace against the gold ore lulls you into a deep sleep.
When you wake up, you find yourself stuck in a cage, next to a llama. You're surrounded by piglins, and the ground is red for some reason? All you can do is wait for someone to rescue you.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Grab some ore and run
You mine quicker than you’ve ever mined in your villager life. You manage to extract a few blocks of gold ore before you make a run for it. The piglin is stunned, clearly very impressed, but after a few seconds, it chases after you.
Thanks to some speed wheat, you manage to outrun the piglin and make it back to the village, safe and sound with a bunch of ore to boot!
> Play again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Take the ore and run
Grabbing all the ore you can carry, you make a run for it! You manage to outrun the piglins but have to sacrifice a few ore blocks to keep your momentum.
You reach the village with a modest amount of gold, and your fellow villagers aren't very impressed. Maybe they're in a bad mood because of that ominous red cloud on the horizon?
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Try to share the gold
Sharing is, after all… well… not being mauled by a piglin. You make a mental note to embroider that on a pillow, and to also learn to embroider.
You grab an amount of ore that you deem to be fair, and offer it to the piglin.
The piglin stares at you.
You politely stare back.
The piglin gives you one more confused look before it takes the ore and bonks you on the head. Then it takes the rest of the ore. This shouldn’t be very surprising to you, but you are aghast just the same.
When you wake up, you are still shocked at the piglin acting exactly like a piglin. That shock is doubled when you realize you are trapped in a cage, which you really should have deduced as well. All you can do is sit and wait for help.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Poke the piglin
Hrmmmmooops. It is very much alive. And now also, very much annoyed. It thwacks you on the head.
When you wake up, you find yourself in a cage, surrounded by piglins.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Keep staring.....
Finally, the piglin blinks. Hrrrm! Oops. It looks like the piglin understood that to be a victory shout, because it’s gone into a rage and started attacking you! Hrrrrrrrrm!
The next thing you know, you wake up in a cage next to a llama. Guess it’s just going to be one of those days.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Distract the piglin with gold
You grab a piece of gold and, even though it goes against all your instincts, hurl it as far as you can behind the piglin. Bye-bye, shiny gold! As if hypnotized, the piglin forgets about your existence and runs after the gold.
This is your chance to carefully make a run for it, and you take it.
When you get back to the village, in one piece (!!!), while holding several pieces of gold (!!!!!!!!), you are met by cheering Hrrrrrms! You have impressed your entire village, which is something to be proud of. Congratulations!
> Play again as the villager
> Pick a different character
Run from the piglin
You run from the piglin, but drop some pieces of gold. It’s not all bad news though, thanks to some speed wheat, you make it back to the village in one piece.
The villagers gather around. You try to distract them from your embarrassing tale by showing off the gold. Look how it shines in the sun! But they insist on hearing the story of how you got them. You might as well tell them.
> Try again as the villager
> Pick a different character
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