Destination Overworld

Sick of the bright lights and not-so-bright people of the big city? Then dig deep this Winter (into the ground, not your pockets) and treat yourself to a stay in this lovely Deep Dark bed and breakfast! Why have we used ‘D’s instead of ‘B’s on that hanging sign? Er, they’re just typos. 

Peaceful? Friend, we guarantee peace and quiet. Seriously - make any noise and you won’t like the consequences. If you’re bringing the family along, you’ll still get a little vacation from seeing them too, because it’s really hard to see anything down here. 

HOLIDAY RATING: 10/10 

Trust me, after a few days in this underrated holiday spot, you’ll never want/be able to leave!

DESTINATION 2: A HAMMOCK SOMEWHERE HIGH UP!

I selflessly offer up a lovely hammock holiday package, and how does society repay me? With negative reviews, that’s how! Reviews that say nasty things like “That’s not a hammock at all. It’s just a pink bed that you’ve stuffed underneath some fence blocks connecting two trees. Where’s my refund???” 

As usual, everyone who isn’t me is missing the point. You’re paying for the isolation, chum! This hammock is thousands of blocks away from all your friends, family, and other tiresome people you sometimes just want to spend as little time with as possible.

HOLIDAY RATING: 10/10

OK, I’ll concede that my hammock is a bit of a "fixer upper", but that’s because I was focused on making other parts of this holiday package perfect. Like my bulletproof ‘no refunds’ policy. 

DESTINATION 3: TANNING SALON IN THE ICE BIOME 

You don’t develop a game in Sweden without also developing a love for the cold! And hypothermia. Anyway, don’t try and get a tan in the desert biome – everyone’s going to have that idea so it’ll be way too crowded. Why not work on your tan in the ice biome, where you’ll get it all to yourself? 

If you somehow get cold, you can just hug a polar bear for warmth. Hungry? Just take a dip in the water and help yourself to some frozen fish! What’s that? You found several frozen tourists down there too? Er, they’re just some of my satisfied customers, enjoying my "Permanent Holiday Package". Tell your friends! 

HOLIDAY RATING: -273,15°C/10 

No one who’s gone on this holiday has had a bad word to say about it! Or any words to say, come to think of it. 

DESTINATION 4: YOUR VERY OWN VILLAGE IN THE ALMOST ANY BIOME YOU LIKE! 

Some people called me a bad person for listing all the villagers’ houses on AirBNB without their permission. At least, I think they called me a bad person. It’s hard to hear them now that my ears are stuffed with cold hard cash.

All you need to do to enjoy a lovely village getaway is arrive at the village of your choice, let yourself into any home you want, turf out the hrrrm-ing loser inside, and then enjoy your holiday! Don’t forget to send me 100 diamonds. That’s a very reasonable commission for this lifehack, as I’m sure you’ll agree.  

HOLIDAY RATING: 1/10

Three ghosts visited me last night and said that if I didn’t change my wicked village-stealing ways, I wouldn’t get a copy of Minecraft Legends for christmas. Bah! 

Something tells me that after reading this article, the editor of Minecraft.net will be putting me on permanent vacation in 2024. Happy New Year, holiday enthusiasts!